Raising Them Right

Can you believe that it's been well over a year since my last blog post?  I'm sure you've forgotten all about this little blog.  Don't feel bad.  I did, too.  😂  One of my friends was talking about writing and it reminded me that I should come back and continue what I started.  So here's a blog post that I started.....in February of 2020.  lol

Do you ever worry about the influence the outside world will have on your kids?  When Alex started kindergarten (a DECADE ago!), I was worried.  I can control how I parent my kids, I can't control how other people parent their's (and working with law enforcement, I deal a lot with the product of poor parenting).  I was so afraid that Alex would start hanging out with a bunch of unruly, bratty kids and start acting the way they do. 

What I didn't realize was that Phil and I as parents have a much bigger influence on our kids than any other child could have and that by raising Alex well, he actually became a role model and sort of mentor for kids in his class/school who had a tendency to misbehave.  Proverbs 22:6 says, "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it."  As parents, we are the greatest influence on our children and when we teach them how they should behave from the beginning, it will set them up for success throughout life.

There are times when one of the kids does something extraordinary and someone says, "Boy, you're raising them right!" or "You're doing a great job teaching them!" and I think "I have no idea how that happened."  LOL  I guess that when you are raised with respect and manners, it's easy to pass onto your children and that is something that Phil and I can each thank our parents for.

For those who would like an update on the kids.....

Alex is now 15 and a sophomore in high school.  That sounds crazy when I say it or type it.  The thought that he could move out of our home and be on his own in 3 short years is terrifying.  That's my baby!  I'm nowhere near ready to let go of him.  But I'm sure that's how every parent feels through this stage of life.  At the same time, I'm excited to see what he does and where he goes.  He is still in Scouts and is thriving!  He recently achieved his Life Rank and in another year or so (I think?) will start making plans for his Eagle Scout project.

Abby is now 7 years old and in second grade.  We made the decision at the end of kindergarten to enroll her in her school's Chinese Immersion program.  She spends half of her school day with an English teacher and half with a Chinese teacher.  She is doing so well at speaking Mandarin!  We took her to a hibachi restaurant in the spring or early summer and she was so excited to speak with the employees there.  Our waitress stood there and had a conversation with her, then complimented us on how well she sounds, saying that she doesn't even sound like she has an accent.  Beyond school life, Abby is doing great.  She is a spitting image of her father, from the "Krantz scowl" to her sarcasm, but with plenty of my humor and affection thrown in.  :)

I usually say "I'll try to post more" or something along those lines, then I forget for months and months.  So I'm not going to say that.  Hopefully I'll post again in a week or two.  ;)

Hard Times and Happy Times

For those who have read my blog (which is probably a very few of you), you may have noticed that I have not posted in a long time.  I was going to post earlier last year when my world crumbled for a little while.  Many times, I've been back to my blog to update it, but just couldn't find the words to say.

On February 1, 2019 my dad passed away unexpectedly.  As hard as it was on me, I was thrown into a parenting situation that I never pictured myself having to go through.  I had to tell my son and daughter that their beloved "Papa" had passed.  It was one of the hardest and most heartbreaking things I've ever had to do.  After I received the call from my mom, telling me what happened, I called my husband who was just finishing up a call at the fire department and explained to him what happened.  I asked him to come home right away, because I didn't know how to tell the kids.  As I was waiting for him, Alex noticed that I was crying and asked what was wrong.  Knowing that his dad was on a fire call, his mind immediately went to "dad's been hurt."  I sat down and brought both of the kids close to me and told them the news.  Alex shouted "No!  No, no, no!" and broke down crying.  Abby, who was not quite 5 years old at the time, started crying too, but I think it was more based on the emotions of Alex and I as opposed to really understanding what happened.

We had a long talk about grief and how to get through everything that we were feeling.  The days following were a flood of different emotions and trying to make sure that the kids were okay.  We cried, we laughed about the happy memories and funny stories, we saw so many friends and family and felt so loved and supported.  The kids have adjusted well.  We still talk every now & then about missing Papa and Abby, knowing that he's always watching over us, occasionally speaks out loud to him.

So that is the news that I've been avoiding typing out.  We just passed the one year anniversary of dad's passing.  I would love to give you the cliche "time heals all wounds," but it doesn't.  It's just a new normal.  I felt extremely blessed a few weeks after his passing when I found a voicemail from him that I hadn't deleted.  It was 2 1/2 minutes of him babbling to me and I love listening to it every couple of months just to hear his voice.


Now that I have that out of the way, let me update you on the kids.  Alex is now THIRTEEN years old!  Yes, I have a teenager now.  He is in 8th grade and still struggles with his school work sometimes, but is overall doing great.  He made the honor roll for the first semester of the school year and barely missed it for the second.  Right now, he is on track to be on it again, so *fingers crossed.*  He just achieved his First Class rank in Scouts.  He still has a lot of work to do in the next 4 years, but we're looking forward to seeing him achieve his Eagle Scout.  He's looking forward to turning 16 so he can become a cadet for the fire department and work alongside his dad.

Abby will be turning 6 on March 1st.  She is thriving in kindergarten!  We found out at our first parent-teacher conference for her that she had the best report card in her class.  She completed all of her math lessons for the year before Christmas break and is currently at the reading level they want kids at by the end of first grade.  We are so proud of her!  Her latest big news is that she lost her first tooth this past weekend.....and accidentally swallowed it!  Despite her circumstances, the tooth fairy was quite generous.  :)

I will post again soon and will hopefully have some actual parenting advice for you, which was the intention of his blog.  Please let me know if there is anything you would like to hear about.  Thanks for reading and for letting me spill my guts a little.  ;)

Merry Christmas!

Where has this year gone???  It's hard to believe that next week is Christmas and 2019 is less than two weeks away.  Phil and I are busy working, the kids are growing and life is good.

Abby will be 5 in March.  She is easily the most entertaining child I know.  She makes up her own songs and jokes, she dances and often shows me her "ninja moves!"  She tells me every day that I'm her best friend and she loves me SO MUCH!  We decided not to send her to preschool this year and to start her off in Kindergarten next fall.  Alex started preschool at the age of three because of his speech delay, so I am soaking up every moment with Abby that I can before she starts school and the years really start to fly by.

Alex is 12 now and starting to act like a teenager.  LOL  Attitude aside, he is still a sweet, caring and loving boy.  He has the same passion for helping people that Phil and I have.  It's hard to believe that we're already discussing things like college vs. trade school and post-high school plans.  He seems to have a knack for hands-on work and took woodshop for the first time this year and seemed to really love it!

It feels like we didn't do as much this year as a family, but I can say with confidence that we made some great family during the trips that we were able to take.  We had our yearly vacation at Roscommon in September with a quick trip to Sault Ste Marie, where we were able to visit the Tower of History and visit the Valley Camp ship museum.  Later that month, we were able to turn a union conference that I attended into a mini-vacation.  We spent a night at Great Wolf Lodge for our first time and loved it!  We ended the weekend by camping in Mackinaw (in the middle of a wind storm!) and spent a day touring the UP.

This past weekend, we spent a little time in the village of Ashley and got to see the Polar Express train.  We also visited Santa in Ionia and watched the kids perform in their yearly children's Christmas program at our church.  It was a wonderful weekend and one that I hope the kids look back on with happy memories!

I'll be sure to post another update after Christmas.  Phil and I have a surprise for the kids that I'm super excited about!  :)

I hope that all of you have a wonderful holiday season full of cherished family memories, special moments and the laughter of your children.

Birthday Girl!

It's been a whirlwind few weeks since I last posted.  We've dealt with sickness, crazy work schedules and a couple of birthdays.  On March 1st, Abby turned 4 years old!!  We celebrated with a party in her honor, where she was surrounded by family & friends and received lots of wonderful presents.  We also celebrated Phil's 39th birthday on March 13th.  Now I get a whole year of picking on him because he's almost 40 years old!  LOL

One of my favorite stories from Abby's birthday festivities actually happened the next morning.  Abby has gotten in the habit lately of waking up when we get Alex up for school (5:45am) and coming down to my bedroom crying that she doesn't want her brother to leave.  When she came downstairs the morning after her party, I noticed something a little different.  She was in one of the new outfits that she had received as a birthday present!  Yes, after I put her to bed the night before, she got up, switched outfits and went back to bed.  LOL  I guess she really wanted to wear it!

I always say that this time of year is the busiest for my family. That is certainly ringing true this year. We are coming up on Alex's baseball season. I remember seeing sign-ups start in January and couldn't believe they were that early. Now, the start of practices is right around the corner.

It is also officially Fire season. People are surprised at how much my family does and how crazy our schedules are. However, it's normal for our family. The thing that stresses me out the most about fire season for Phil, is that his work with the DNR is so unpredictable. For example, last week they called him around 9 a.m. and told him he needed to be in Oceana County later that morning. So he woke me up at 9:15 a.m. between my work shifts and told me he had to go. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, because last year when he went to Montana for 3 weeks, they called him just after 5 p.m. on a Thursday night and told him to be ready and at the office at 6 a.m. the next morning. Seriously, giving someone 13 hours notice that they're going to be gone for 3 weeks when their wife is working 12 of those hours??? Just once, I would love for Phil's supervisor to call and say, "Hey, is it convenient for Katy if you work today?"  LOL  

 We got through it though just like we'll get through this fire season. It just stresses me out because I'm used to the slow winter months of having my husband at home. Mostly though, I worry about our children and how they are adjusting. Even last fall when he was gone, they did great! They talk to their dad when they could and they asked questions when they had questions. They know that their dad does important work and they are so proud of him. Abby even tells him, "Be safe!  I love you!" when he leaves the house.  When I leave, she says "I love you!  Don't hit any deers with your van."  LOL 

I had a wonderful weekend with Phil and the kids. We spent yesterday with my side of the family enjoying an early Easter dinner since I have to work next weekend. We also celebrated the birthdays of Abby, Phil, my mom, and brother Nathan. Next weekend I will happily be sacrificing a little bit of sleep between work shifts to celebrate Easter with Phil's side of the family. We are so fortunate that we get to see both sides of our families this year. Hopefully I won't wait another month after this to update my blog again.  :-)  I hope that all of you have a very blessed Easter and are able to enjoy time with your families. Remember to smile, hug your kids, and tell them you love them!

A Different Direction

Loss and Anger

If you've been reading my blog, you know that I always discuss parenting issues and tips.  This one for a change, is going to be focused a little more on me.  My coworkers and I suffered quite a loss back in December.  My friend and former dispatch partner was killed in a car accident.  He left behind a wife, daughter, two step-children and a whole slew of people that loved him.  He was a 911 dispatcher, a radio DJ, a jokester and a Christian.  In the weeks since his accident, many of us have been angry and frustrated with the lack of information in regards to his accident and the driver who caused it.  We knew that the person was going 100 miles per hour in a 40 mile per hour zone and that he never touched the brakes before rear-ending John.  Yesterday, the news reported the conclusion of the accident investigation.

The driver who hit John is believed to have had a seizure while driving.  His accelerator was 100% deployed at the time of the crash.  According to the media, he recently had surgery for a brain tumor, which brought a risk of seizures, but for reasons unknown to us did not have any driving restrictions.  Due to this information, he is not being charged criminally.

This information has brought about several emotions.  Mostly anger.  Someone who knew that he could have seizures because of his medical condition chose to get behind the wheel of his vehicle and as a result, killed my friend.  I want that man to pay for what he did!!  I want him to see the pain that he caused among John's family and friends.  I want him to spend weeks, months, even years behind bars thinking about what he did.  I want some kind of revenge, some kind of justice!  Then my thoughts started to change...

Words from Above

It's currently the season of Lent.  On top of giving things up, I have made an effort to mainly listen to Christian radio (Family Life Radio).  I like to tune in when I pick Alex up from school, during the Intentional Living program, which is less music and more "talk radio."  It seems like each time I tune in, I hear exactly what I need to.  For example, last weekend I watched a local church's service online.  The sermon was the first in a series on marriage.  When I tuned into FLR Monday afternoon, the program was about marriage and how to juggle being a spouse and a parent.

Yesterday was no exception.  As I drove to the school thinking about the news I had heard, my blood boiling, I turned my radio on.  In the middle of a show titled "Is It Time to Change?," I tuned in just as they were talking about forgiveness.  One phrase that really resonated with me was "There is a reason that your windshield is so much bigger than your rear view mirror."  You need to look at your future, not dwell on the past.  I sat there and listened to every word and began to ask myself 'What good is it going to do to hold onto this anger?'  It won't change the outcome of this situation.  I don't know who this man is.  I don't know how he feels or the emotions he's going through knowing that his actions caused someone's death.  I don't know if he wants or needs my forgiveness, but I know that I need to give it to him.

If there is someone in your life that you're holding a grudge against, take some time and think about why you're still holding onto those feelings.  Is it benefiting you or making you bitter?  Maybe it's time to think about forgiveness and letting go of the past.

Mark 11:25 - And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I usually try to keep this blog upbeat and entertaining.  Every now and then though, something comes to my attention that I feel that I need to address.  I was browsing through a parenting forum last night when I came across a post about some of the things kids say to their parents.  I was appalled at some of the responses!!  Things like calling their parents "stupid" and saying things like "I hate you!"  I'm not just talking about eye-rolling, attitude-filled teenagers.  Some of these kids were 5 and 6 years old!

First of all, I know that kids pick up things from everywhere.  TV, school, playmates, radio, movies.  Their minds are little sponges and sometimes they soak up things that we would rather they didn't.  However, what goes in does not have to come out!  I taught my kids at a young age that we don't do certain things, like call people "stupid."  I explained to them that it hurts feelings and makes people sad and that we don't want to make people sad.  We want people to be happy!

Second, consider this for a moment:  If kids feel that it's okay to use harsh words with the people in their life that deserve the most respect (their parents), how do you think they're going to treat others in the future?  What begins as disrespect toward parents can later turn into disrespect for classmates, teachers, law enforcement and bosses.  What boss wants to employ a disrespectful adult who can't control their tongue?  By teaching your children respect, you set them up for positive interactions in the future.

I remember one time in high school, I walked past our school's superintendent, principal and a teacher having a little meeting in the hallway.  One of them said hi to me, so I said "Hi, how are you today?"  They replied, "Good, you?"  I said, "I'm good, thank you."  It was a very simple interaction, but it was enough that one of them stopped me and said "You are always so polite and respectful!  Thank you for being that way and keep up the good work."  Obviously, this is a direct reflection of my parents and the way that they raised me, but in that moment I felt so proud to be acknowledged for actions so simple that can have such a great impact on the way other look at you and treat you.  It really is simple.  You respect your parents, you respect your elders and you respect those in authority.

I will admit that raising Abby has been a bit more challenging than Alex.  She has a lot more attitude than he ever did and we have quickly come to the age of teaching her the things I mentioned above.  When she doesn't like something that someone is doing or doesn't like something we have told her to do ("No, you can't have a cupcake right before dinner" or "You need to clean up your toys before you get new ones out."), her face gets red and she lets out this loud grunt.  She half yells "But I wanna.....(insert activity here)."  She stomps through the house and slams her bedroom door.  I have been a little lenient on her until recently, partly because she's young and doesn't understand the consequence of some of her actions and partly because it's hard not to laugh at this sassy pint-sized drill sergeant in a 3 year old body.  However, I have been buckling down lately, especially when it comes to how she speaks to Phil, Alex or myself.  Although we giggle quietly and wonder where this sassy sarcastic attitude came from (*cough* Phil *cough*), I have started explaining to her that that's not how she is supposed to speak to others.  In time, I am sure she will begin to understand and as she matures, she will start to take other people's feelings into consideration.  Until then, I'll be putting my words into action and waiting for the day her school teachers gush about how polite and kind she is, the same way they did with Alex.  :)

Let's Pretend

Did you know that one of the most important factors in child development is pretend play?  I learned this when Alex was 2 years old and going through speech therapy.  They encouraged pretend play to help develop his speech, fine motor skills and gross motor skills.  By pretending, kids are able to learn about their likes and dislikes, their interests and their abilities.  It also requires advanced thinking strategies, social skills and communication.  They learn to do things like negotiate, consider others' perspectives, balance their own ideas with others, express and listen to thoughts and ideas and assign tasks and roles. 

Alex is 11 now and although the scenarios have changed, he still plays pretend.  These days, it's less about playing doctor and fireman and more about Star Wars and light saber fights.  But at 3 years old, Abby is very much in the pretend play stage of life.  She is constantly asking me to act something out with her.  Just this week, I've played "Abby" while she played "Mommy," I've had a pretend pool party with her (while she ran through the house in her swimsuit yelling "pool party!!!") and I've been a store clerk while she shopped for Lego's for her brother and handed me pretend money.

There are plenty of times that Abby asks me to play out a scene while I'm busy cooking dinner, getting ready to take a shower, folding laundry or just plain don't feel like it because it's been a long day and I'm tired.  Lately though, I've been making more of an effort at playing with her.  In her short 3 (almost 4) years, how many times have I said no because I was busy watching a movie or staring blankly at my phone?  How many other parents have done the same?  Pretending doesn't always have to require dressing up in a crazy costume or setting up props.  Sometimes it's as easy as a conversation.  Many times, it's less than 5 minutes before Abby is on to something else.  Aside from helping your child's developmental skills, consider the fact that using 5 minutes out of your day is making them happy.  What do you have going on that could possibly be more important than that???


Today's post is short and sweet, so when you're done reading this, turn off the computer, turn off your TV, put down your phone.  Go find your kids.  Get out of your head, forget about responsibilities and adulting for a while.  Ask your kids if they want to play and let them take the lead on it.  Don't say "that's silly" or "I'm not doing that."  Immerse yourself in their story, have fun with it and get silly!